In how many ways do we close ourselves off? Cross our arms. Make the choice that is not in our best interest. If everything is going great, we may sabotage it. When we fail, we tell ourselves we are bad. This is the child that never left us. Things come out of us that we regret. But it keeps our story going. That we are not good enough. That we are bad. That we are not enough. That we do not deserve. We didn’t grow into these thoughts, we’ve had them all along. We created them so very long ago. When we didn’t even know better. Now we ‘know’ better. Which really does make it feel worse when we act out against our best interests. And then “the voice” can start. The self blame, the shame, the ‘should know better’.
But really, we are going to do it again. And again. And its not because we are bad. It is not because we are unworthy. It is because we are human. We. Are. Going. To. Fail. Whether we like it or not. What we have to learn is to accept it. Allow it. Rejoice in it. “Yes! I did something bad and embarrassing!”
And listen to it.
Our child self is trying to tell us something. They are reacting to a need. Doing something we regret doesn’t come from where we think it does. It comes without thought. It comes directly from what needs healing. And we all have something that needs healing. So we are all going to do the wrong thing. And we are all going to judge ourselves for it.
So, the next time you do something ‘bad’, open your arms to it. Allow the gift of it. Accept that gift with open arms.
It will help you heal.
(image from U.S. Games)