We Are Not Bad. Really.

In how many ways do we close ourselves off? Cross our arms. Make the choice that is not in our best interest. If everything is going great, we may sabotage it. When we fail, we tell ourselves we are bad. This is the child that never left us. Things come out of us that we regret. But it keeps our story going. That we are not good enough. That we are bad. That we are not enough. That we do not deserve. We didn’t grow into these thoughts, we’ve had them all along. We created them so very long ago. When we didn’t even know better. Now we ‘know’ better. Which really does make it feel worse when we act out against our best interests. And then “the voice” can start. The self blame, the shame, the ‘should know better’.

But really, we are going to do it again. And again. And its not because we are bad. It is not because we are unworthy. It is because we are human. We. Are. Going. To. Fail. Whether we like it or not. What we have to learn is to accept it. Allow it. Rejoice in it. “Yes! I did something bad and embarrassing!”

And listen to it.

Really listen.

Our child self is trying to tell us something. They are reacting to a need. Doing something we regret doesn’t come from where we think it does. It comes without thought. It comes directly from what needs healing. And we all have something that needs healing. So we are all going to do the wrong thing. And we are all going to judge ourselves for it.

So, the next time you do something ‘bad’, open your arms to it. Allow the gift of it. Accept that gift with open arms.

It will help you heal.

 

With love,

Vaike

(image from U.S. Games)

 

Healing, Quiet, Clarity and 10 Questions to Get There

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We all come to a point that we need to lay down and heal. Our nerves get rubbed raw. Over and over again. And there is a point when they are flat out exposed. Just the feel of a breeze floating over them can feel like fire.

That is when we are just done. We are over it. We have nothing else to give.

And. That. Is. Not. A. Bad. Thing.

We fight rest, we fight healing. But what if we changed that? What if we honored the down time instead of beating ourselves up over it? What if we really, truly saw the value?

Laying down. Letting all our muscles relax. Dropping into connections with the earth. The cool ground. The amazing silence. That breeze being a soft blanket. It no longer sounds like something to fight against. It almost sounds like something to work towards, instead. We rush and save for a ‘vacation’ from life. But shouldn’t life not need a vacation? If we honored our cycles, honored and respected the time of rest, we could go on vacation because of interest, not need. I like it that way much better. Don’t you?

And so to honor our rest. Ask yourself 10 questions:

1. How tired are you?

2. How overwhelmed are you?

3. What would you like more of?

4. What would you like less of?

5. What would honoring your rest look like?

6. What would it sound, feel, taste like?

7. What would be ideal?

8. What space are you willing to carve out for yourself?

9. What will make you feel safe and rested in this space?

10. What are you willing to commit to?*

(* This is the action that will actually get you there…)

I invite you to try this and see what happens. See what it is like when you allow yourself to heal. When you don’t beat yourself up for having balance. When you feel centered, grounded, and yourself again.

Awesome.

With love,

Vaike

And for in depth and personal work, you are always welcome. Just click here to book

(Cards in photo: Wildwood Tarot @http://willworthingtonart.co.uk)

10 Tarot Cards to Keep You on Your Path

Doing the right thing for ourselves. Sometimes it is hard to remember. Sometimes it is hard to figure out. We get lost and we forget our path. The path we know we should be on, we belong on, we want to be on. It is so easy to get lost in the woods with so many trees of distraction.

Here are 10 things we can learn from tarot to help guide us on our path to awesomeness…

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1.    Page of Wands. What do you dream of? What is your ideal? What would bring you joy? These are questions that we need to ask ourselves. When we get caught up in the daily grind of life, we tend to put these on the back burner. Bring them forth again. Start to dream. Start to question. Start to learn. Go back to the beginning and look at this very moment as an invitation to bring your dreams into your life. Take a minute. Answer the above questions without boundaries. Freely. Write down what comes up for you. Put is somewhere that will remind you to remember. To dream.

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2. Five of Cups. Regrets. Loss. We all have them. It is part of life. But when we focus on them at the cost of neglecting and appreciating what wo DO have, we are doing ourselves a disservice. What would it take to turn you around? Stand up and look in front of you. What do you see? Now turn around? What do you see? You are in the same time and place but the view is different. All it took was turning your viewpoint around. Name a regret. Or two. Now turn around and name something you are grateful for. And a second thing. And a third. Fill that list. Find gratitude. How does the view look now?

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3.     Queen of Cups. Acknowledging your feelings. They are just feelings. We honor them, but we also know they pass. This knowledge can get you through your challenges. The Queen of Cups in you is mature with her feelings. She can be with them and not be run by them. You are that Queen.

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4.     Six of Wands. You have victories. Plenty of them. Stop and absorb them. You deserve it. What are your victories? How have you celebrated them? What is a victory you can celebrate right now? And how are you going to do that? What is a reward you can honor yourself with right in this moment? Go do it!

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5.     Ace of Swords. Now that you have celebrated yourself, your awesomeness, regroup. Get back to thinking about your dreams, your values. What is at your core self that you truly believe in? What can you cut away with this sword? What no longer fits in your life?

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6.     Eight of Pentacles. Moving forward. To your dreams. To who you want to be. Baby steps and focus. Keep on keeping on. Be conscious of where you need to put your energy. What will move you forward? What is a baby step you can take towards your goal?

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7.     Ten of Swords (my card!). What can you be done with? What can you let go of? What heavy weight is holding you down? If you can’t let go right now, can you just give it acceptance without judgement? Can you focus on the sunrise? How will you do that?

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8.     Eight of Swords.  Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of a misstep. Afraid of making the wrong decision. How has fear been holding you back? What is it costing you? What else is it costing you? What would it be like to be fearless? Try it on. Play with it. Fantasize.

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9.     Three of Cups. Friends. Love. Support. As you move towards your life, towards your dreams, who can support you? Where can you find an ally? Who will rally around you and root for you? Those are who to bring in close.

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10.     Ten of Pentacles. The end goal. The big picture. This card shows the fruits of one’s labors, the result of the personal foundation you are creating now. This card shows family, community, security. That may or may not be what your desires are. What do you want your success to be? What is your personal end result? Go back to your dreams, your desires. How can you make it a solid vision? How do you imagine yourself in it? Take this vision and keep it with you. Wear it like a cloak, a mantle. Watch as the world changes around you and aligns…

And, of course to take this deeper for profound change, please book a session.

 

Love,

Vaike

 

 

 

 

Choose Less, Do More…

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We want to put our heart and soul into everything.

We want to save the world.

We want to save every puppy and kitten on the street.

We want to feed every homeless person. Every starving child.

The planet needs saving. The animals need to be brought back from extinction. The water needs to be unpolluted.

And it goes on.

And we want put our heart into all of it.

But we can’t.

And we feel overwhelmed.

And, then, often, nothing gets done. We just post our frustrations on Facebook and move on. Hoping.

But it is not hopeless. The world is filled with hope. We can all do our part. There is the key ‘our part’.  When we make a choice to minimize, to focus on just one thing, we bring our energy into a type of cohesiveness that is so much more powerful.

When we are scattered, when we are looking at all the shiny objects (positive or negative), we become diffused. Less effectual.

What would it be like to really make a change? Find where your heart lives, where your strength lives and become a powerful changemaker?

When you drill down to who you are, what your strengths are, what you need to move forward, it becomes easier, clearer. You flow. When you can look and see your true self reflected, when you know yourself, you can do som much more in this world.

I invite you to use the tool of Tarot Coaching to gain this clarity.

Sign up to change the world.

Anxiety and The Hanged Man

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Anxiety. It sucks. That’s all there is too it.  When we get caught up in it, it can take over our world. Anxiety can affect every aspect of our lives.

The problem is, is that it is a vicious cycle. The more you have anxiety, the more your anxious brain creates reasons to  be anxious.

This is where The Hanged Man comes in. “Let go, and let be” is a wonderful way to look at this card. When you are trussed up with so much that is beyond your control, relaxing and letting go will often allow you to see things in a different perspective. Just like hanging upside down shows you the world in a whole new context.

When things are overwhelming, you can either spiral up with all the overwhelm, or you can just let go. Let it be. Allow knowledge to come to you.

That being said, we all know that “letting go and letting be” is the absolute hardest thing in the world to do. But once we have knowledge, once we can tap into ‘why’, we can sit and process with much more ease.

When you can look at your anxious moments through the cards, that awareness will help give you a space to rest. And when your anxiety can rest, it can recede. And when it can recede, solutions, results and actions can come take its place.

And then you can move forward powerfully.

Then you can create your world.

Then it becomes awesome…

This is one of the ways we can work together with the Reflective Tarot Coaching process to create solutions, so you can move past whatever is stopping you and move forward to an amazing life.

If you are ready, let’s book a session together!

 

I Saw the House of the Hermit Last Night.

 

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I took a walk in the darkness last night.

There was a light midway up the black night of mountain.

A new light. Amber. Homey. Warm.

I had never seen it before, and thought, “that is where I would like to live.” Slowly, as I kept walking, the light slowly, slowly disappeared into nothingness. I could see no place on the mountain.  It was dark. Black.

It was a momentary gift. The Hermit stepped out of his cave of reflection to shine a light for me. Maybe an invitation to go in.

Go in to the cave. Be quiet in the light of a single lamp.

Listen.

The only way we are going to hear ourselves is if we listen.

The only way we are going to listen is if we are not distracted.

The only way we are not going to be distracted is if we go in to our cave.

And listen.

Listen in our dark. Listen in our silence. Listen to what is deep and hidden.

There is our voice.

In the darkness. In the cave of the mountain.

Our voice is that beautiful amber light. It will light up the worlds darkness. It will be a beacon.

But we need to hear it first.

That’s what The Hermit tells us…

 

 

(Hermit card again from the amazing Wild Unknown Tarot Deck)

A Powerful New Year!

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It’s a new year! New growth. New opportunities. New possibilities.

I choose a card for the new year. Consciously.  I wanted to be conscious in my choice as I want you to remember that whatever happens, whatever shows up in your world, you still have choice. You still have your own power in how you want to see, to be, in the world. And, by taking on choice, you create your world. You create the world.

We are that powerful. As long as we remember it.

And so I choose the Ten of Cups. Specifically from The Wild Unknown Deck.

It is simple. And in its simplicity it all comes together. Coming together is what this year is about. If we all gather together, if we all create change, both within ourselves and without, that is where the love is. That is where the joy is. That is where the happiness is.

That is where the strength truly resides.

This is what I wish for us to take on this year.

It is time for us to make it all come together.

 

 

 

Reflective Tarot Coaching, it’s About What YOU See…

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I believe you know it all.

Well, I believe you have the ability to know it all. What is best for you, what you need, what you desire, what you want to bring to the world.

It is all in there, somewhere. Maybe on the surface. Maybe hidden.

When you shine your own light on your situation is when you will find what you need.  That is the wonderful thing about tarot coaching. The cards come up as they do, but, really, that means nothing. What is important is what YOU see in them.

Look at the cards above. What stands out? What makes you excited? What makes you turn away? For each and every one of us, these will show up differently. Tarot uses the archetypes of our universal, human journey, but, while we are all on that path, it is going to be different for all of us. We are all special snowflakes and exactly the same at the very same time.

A tarot coach is just your guide. We are not here to tell you what to do. We are not here to give you advice. We are here to reflect your own journey back at you. We trust you to connect the dots and do the work. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, even if it is buried under layers and layers of ‘stuff’, you are the expert in your own life.

We are just here to help peel it back so you can move forward!

Who Cares What Happened When You Were Four?

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When I was four. I killed my sister’s dog. She was tiny. I made her go down some stairs that she couldn’t manage. She fell and died.

I was four. I think. Somewhere around there. But that doesn’t matter. I killed a dog. It became who I was. The guilt, shame, loss, all became my identity. I have no memory of what my family did. I don’t remember how I reacted. All I knew is I was someone who killed a dog. And that person is bad. And so I was bad.

We all have moments in our childhood that define us. We may not even have a memory of them. And, logically, you think, ‘well, it just happened once, why is it so important?’

Yes, a defining event may have happened only once. But we forget that we add 10, 20, 30, 40 years of reinforcement to that event. It’s not direct. It’s not on purpose. It is not something we are even aware of. But it changes our point of view. The perspective that all other acts are seen from. The filter on our lens has names like: bad, selfish, undeserving, unworthy. And that becomes from where we act for the rest of our lives if we don’t catch it. If we don’t consciously change that perspective.

As a child, unless you have a fabulous other human next to you to help you process an event, you just don’t have the ability to do it for yourself. Therefore events stay unprocessed. They stay as a definition of our identity.

As adults we get to change that. That change can show up in many forms: therapy, meditation, a profound book, yes, tarot coaching 🙂 , a conversation with a friend. (Landmark is fabulous for this, btw)

When I was younger, I found the idea of those memories defining us ridiculous. Only when I started to see how everything got changed, how everything was compounded by future action, did I start to get it. I got how I made an event mean something about me, then I carried that definition for 40 years. It’s that important. And letting go is even more important.

It’s work that has to be done. It is too difficult to live your life from the standpoint of undeserving, unworthy, etc. For joy and abundance to show up, truly, the best way to get there is change your lens filter, change your viewpoint, turn around and move forward from a place of deserving and worthiness.

 

(Yes, this is the second or third time I have written about this. It is that important for me to remember and stay present to…)

 

If You’ve Never Fed a Bee…

I fed a bee today.

It was on the ground, moving slowly. I remember reading about giving bees an emergency concoction of sugar and water, so they can nourish themselves.

We have no sugar, but we had grape jelly. I added some onto a spoon, placed it just under the bees mouth, and he reached over to eat. I held the spoon as gently as I could, trying not to move it. He kept on eating. Or was it drinking? I am not sure, but he kept at it.

After a few moments, I picked him and the spoon up and placed it outside in a shady area. The bee proceeded to groom himself and clean up after his lunch. Have you ever seen a bee groom? It’s like watching a tiny kitten. Darling.

Each bee needs to be honored. We must value each and every part of this planet. It can seem so very overwhelming, but each step, each choice, can take us in the right direction. Everything is precious. We need to take care of it.

The blessing is that when we take care of something as small as a tiny, tired bee, we are taking care of ourselves as well. We are helping the world. We are in the act of giving.

We often don’t do the right thing. We try. We want to. But desires, fear of scarcity, overwhelm, hurt, so many feelings, make it hard to make that choice. But every single time that we make that choice. To help, to better, to save, to contribute, we will feel better. Whenever you act from a place of fearless love, it counteracts the fear, it gives us strength, and it gives us hope.

Moving away from acting from fear to acting from love will always, always change how we feel.

And it will be for the better…