Just Keep Moving in the Right Direction. Don’t Worry About Perfection.

I had a great insight the other day. I was so excited about writing a blog post about it. It was profound, it was insightful, it brought me to a new understanding of myself.

Then I  instantly forgot it.

I was upset because it was a really great learning experience for me. It really made me feel good about myself.

But things have a way of circling back. If you miss out on a lesson, a new awareness, don’t beat yourself up. Just keep moving forward.

For me, missing out on that lesson gave me this lesson. To just keep moving forward. Allow  your life to be imperfect. Allow yourself to skip a life learning “class” every once in awhile.

Often, when people take on self growth, they start to force it. They feel they need to be perfect. That growth and self awareness happens in a straight line. It doesn’t. Nothing in life follows a straight path.

Once you accept that, your process will flow so much more easily. You don’t need to worry about “doing it right”. Just “do it forward”. Don’t count how many times you stumble. It really doesn’t matter.

Use your stumbles to find humor, joy, self care, something gently positive. If you snap at someone at work, for example, just use that opportunity (as it is an opportunity) to reflect on what you need. Are you cranky? Tap into something funny. Are you tired? Gift yourself with a treat/bath/extra hour of sleep, etc. Do you just not like this person? Gift yourself with compassion (as it surely will get passed on).

It’s not all going to work out perfectly. So don’t worry about perfection. Focus on direction.

Love,

Vaike

 

Life and Happiness. What Are Your Top Ten Daily Stressors?

We all have what I call “invisible stressors” in our lives. Things that we have lived with for so very long, or that are so much a part of our everyday lives that we no longer know that they are there.

Because we are not aware of these stressors, we can’t do anything about them. They can make us physically and emotionally uncomfortable without us even knowing it.

Start to ask yourself what some of these may be. Start to shine a light on them A good way to do this is to make a list. Things that annoy you. Things that get in your way. Things that make you physically uncomfortable. I am not asking you to look for the large life stressors here, rather just little things that tweak at you.

Go ahead and make a list of 10 things that bother you every day. Mine are:

  1. Constant loud noise.
  2. Being too cold or too hot.
  3. Unresolved to-do list.
  4. Guilt from not spending enough time with my senior dog.
  5. A messy house. Clutter.
  6. Feeling physically dirty. Unwashed hair.
  7. Low grade back tension.
  8. Unpaid bills.
  9. Low blood sugar.
  10. Getting into a messy bed at night.

These kinds of little things can just eat away at your daily comfort and happiness. They are ‘low grade” so we just tend to ignore them and live with them. What did you come up with?  Start looking at you list and finding solutions. How can you just make a few of them go away? Start to think about how you would feel if you gave yourself the gift of solving some of these issues. How would you feel after? Would it be worth the 5/10/20 minutes a day that it would take to shower/pay bills/eat on time/make your bed?

Just getting a handle of a few of your issues will make a world of difference.

Try it and find out!

 

Freedom Comes From Where You Create It.

When you feel triggered by something, When you experience panic or anxiety. When you hear your brain arguing a point over and over again. These can all be signals that you have created something in your life that is not working for you. It may be new, or it may have been there so long that you don’t even notice it’s presence, except if just on the sidelines.

I have had a group of people in my life for years. Almost twenty. I have never really fit in with them and I never felt a deep connection with them, not them with me. But due to proximity both in location and work commonalities, we were connected superficially.

After I started my adventures and left them, I still held on. I still followed the group on FaceBook, I still commented, I still discussed and participated.

Then, while trying to help someone, I made a suggestion that wasn’t well thought out. It was a small error in judgement that came from my not being truly present that day and just wanting to help someone.

And someone simply called me out on it.

But boy oh boy did I react! My feelings were totally out of proportion to my mistake. Completely and absolutely. I panicked. I called someone for coaching. It took me a long time to calm down. I saw the absurdity, as it was such a small mistake and was simply that, a mistake, but just couldn’t let go. It was just weird.

Then, that night it hit me. It wasn’t about my stupid little mistake. It was about feeling judgment from a group of people that I had no real desire to connect with, but somehow had a story of needing their approval. I didn’t live there anymore, I didn’t do the same work anymore, but I was still keeping my need to be accepted. I realized that I had been seeking approval and connection that simply wasn’t there, and I didn’t really even need or want it.

I let go.

Just like that.

Boy did it feel good. It opened up all this new space in my life. Space that now was available to fill with whatever joy and abundance I chose!

When you are creating the life that brings you the most joy, not all of your past is going to fit in to a neat little compartment in your future. But you don’t always notice this. You need to explore, to see what makes you uncomfortable and stifled, what is keeping you from moving forward. It isn’t always obvious, so you need to search for it.

What old attachments do you still carry that are not serving you anymore?

What steps can you take to let go of these attachments and create new openings and space in your life?

And what wonderful new things and ways of being will you put in this new space of freedom?

 

 

 

Thank you.

Thank you.

I was driving on a narrow desert road when I came upon an accident. (nothing serious, no one hurt, thankfully) At the beginning of the traffic jam to pass the pile up there was a sheriff. I said thank you as I passed by. He smiled in return. There was a sheriff at the end of the traffic jam. I said thank you as I passed by. He smiled in return.

At that second thank you I realized that I might have been getting more from acknowledging his service than he was. I was gaining joy from it. I was giving, but I was getting more.

You’d think that with these two simple words, that you are giving more than you are getting. But it really works the opposite way. When you say thank you, you are giving yourself a connection. You are expanding yourself to others, and with that expansion, you open up to more joy.

And it was all so simple.

Just say thank you.