One of the Hierophant’s elements can be structure. Also authority. When you put those together in a family dynamic, it can be intense. It can become a structure that we were raised with, then automatically, unconsciously, fall into as adults. This can run our lives. At the very least, it can keep us from living full out in the life that we want for us. Bringing it up into consciousness and the light of day can be scary, but truly amazing as well.
A family can generate a set of ideals. Created by the group, or by a single or few strong personalities in the family. These ideals can be absorbed into our ways of being, being run by that awful word, “should”. Shining a light here is a great thing. Ask yourself if you have been striving for perfection based on someone else’s ideals/desires or your own. Look at how you are comparing yourself to your family and ask yourself it you are being how you want to be, or how they want you to be. Are you punishing yourself because you are not fitting in to their expectations? These types of questions can be difficult to look at. But once they are answered, once you get clear on who is really making your decisions, it can be truly liberating when you let go.
It’s exhausting living your life according to someone else’s vision, it really is. For me, not living an authentic life makes me feel as if I am not living a life at all. It just doesn’t work. I had spent years trying to fit in to someone else’s idea of how life should be. Years. I compared myself to how I was “supposed” to be, I was outwardly well behaved and gave all the correct answers on demand. I covered up who I really was. They were all so proper and well behaved, and I must be lesser than, because I was not fitting in to that mold. Turns out, they were all full of shit anyways. Not only were they not better than everyone, they were downright creepy. I spent so much time wasted on being unforgiving towards myself for not keeping up with those ideals that never even existed in the first place. It is just not worth it.
There can be a certain sadness at the end of the day. Its over. Like the end of a vacation, the last moments of a party. But it is a daily ending. We go through it over and over again. Little endings. It can leave us at a bit of a loss.
I did a quick little tarot reading about this, looking at both the sadness and the anxiety and the advice that follows. What I drew was:
I drew the Two of Swords for the sadness. A woman with her arms folded protectively across her chest. As if she is protecting her heart. Maybe we fight to protect ourselves from this sadness? Maybe we are using energy to not admit that, hey, yes, one more down.
What would it be like to just open up and feel it? Have a little melancholy with your evening tea. Maybe it really won’t be so bad. It might honor the day. It might bring you closer to yourself by being honest. You might find that it is quite o.k.
I drew the Three of Pentacles for the anxiety part of the end of the day. This one is obvious. We work each day with goals and desires. We don’t always reach them. And when we don’t, we beat ourselves up over it. The end of the end of the day is the time we have to let go. We don’t have a choice in the matter, the day is gone, nothing we can do about it. But some part of ourselves wants to finish up the unfinishable. That can create anxiety.
What would it be like to just let that go?
The advice card I drew is the Queen of Swords. Mature. Wise. Faces the truth, but doesn’t get worked up over it. She can see ‘what is’ and still not get all worked up over it.
So what would it be like to just be in the acceptance of it?
When you give it a try, you find the beauty that is there. Being o.k. with however it shows up allows everything to fit into the right place.
The tarot. The tower. Many people are uncomfortable with this card. It’s easy to see why. The image is of destruction. Of people flying out of a tower. But think of it. The tower is decaying. You are only there because of familiarity. Change is scary. We would rather stay in something that no longer serves us than take action to move to a better place. So sometimes the universe shakes it up for us. If we are stagnant we often need a kick in the butt. Its what we do with this kick that matters. How we face it. The attitude we have. How we embrace it. Ask yourself: do you really want to stay in this rut? Day in and day out, because its what is known, which is safer than what is unknown. But guess what? Where do your dreams reside? Yes, more over towards that unknown place. That place where you have to take a step outside your comfort zone. Where you have to open up. Take a bit of risk.
So, take a new look at the what areas you are not moving towards your dreams. What is stopping you? What is keeping you hiding in this safe (for now) and crumbling tower? What is getting in your way of taking your own step forward and has you waiting for the tower to shake it up for you?
You have the strength to take the first steps forward.
In tarot, the cups are all about emotions, feelings, love. Good yummy stuff. Until they are empty. At the bottom of the cups (think of them reversed if that helps), are the gunkier emotions. Away from reality, emotionally driven, or lack of any emotion at all. This can show up in many ways. Different for all of us. But we all have a need to keep our cups full. If we don’t, they dry up, the get cracked. They dry out. We have nothing left to give.
We can’t give if we don’t got. By taking care of our own needs, we can refill our cups. We often feel that it is selfish to ‘do for ourselves’, but, really, it benefits everyone. Once we take care of our needs, we can give again to others. We have access to the balanced emotional state that is neither overly gushing and out of control, or so bland and empty that we do not even have a smile to share with anyone.
Think about how to fill your cups. Pencil it in your calendar. No, pen it in. Non erasable ink. It’s imperative.
I believe that the tarot is another tool in our toolbox. It is a reminder of the path we are going through. Often we lose our path, we forget our purpose. This path is pretty universal to all of humanity. The symbols are common to us all. We all share goals, different, yet the same. It is this sameness that the images speak to, the collective consciousness. This sameness is often hidden, even in our unconscious mind. The tarot can bring this inner guide out to re-guide us, so to speak. The tarot is about visual information as well. When we see ourselves using more than one of our senses, it helps us get deeper into self knowledge, as it triggers different parts of our brain to activate.
I believe that a tarot reader is a guide, not a fortune teller. The querent is actually doing the work, The reader is just lighting the way. The answers all come from inside. We just don’t always ‘see’ what we know, and having an outside viewer helps to clarify things.
Just as an artist can learn about themselves and their own work through the eyes of the viewer, you can learn about yourself and your path through the eyes of the tarot reader.
Laying on the ground, looking at ten wands entrapping you, ensnaring you. Keeping you from movement. Oppression. Creative pressure. A strong weight covering you with no escape. It is a moment held in time. Your breath is held. Neither in or out. All you need to do is breath out. Swing the pendulum back away. All things go both ways. The cage of wands will release you. All you need to do is simply let go. Don’t use force to push back. Just breath out naturally, without tension, without energy. You can’t fight a force pointed towards you with force back. It just escalates. Breathe, let go, and they will scatter to the winds they came from.