Celebration IS the Point.

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Just celebrate already! It’s life. It’s beautiful. It’ is rich and deep and profound and moving. It is dark and light. We can dwell in the dark, sure. But if we are not celebrating the light, well. what is the point?

Have the Three of Cups show up for you every day. Dance. Sing. Hug friends. Take a bath. I don’t know how it shows up for you, this celebration. I don’t know what is going to bring you the most joy. It is your choice. It is yours to decide from everything out there.

There is no meaning to life if we don’t honor it, play with it, love it. All the cliches apply: Life is a gift, you only live once, you don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so live fully today. The list goes wonderfully on and on. That’s because there is so much truth there.

We often wait for the opportune moment to celebrate. But according to who? I remember being in a seminar with a few hundred wonderful people. We were all standing up, taking turns stating what we wanted to take on in life. People were mentioning writing books, getting a better job, finding a deeper relationship with their partner, etc. All wonderful, fabulous intentions. Then this one guy:

He stood up and stated that he wanted to take on having the most fun possible. He just wanted to party and do fun things and live in joy every day.

It was pretty awesome. It was years ago. And he is the only one whose specific intention I remember. Although I do remember the whole room supporting him in this amazing choice in life. That was who he was. And it made us all happier knowing that there is this one guy out there that is just going to have some damn fun.

I hope he is partying today…

 

(And, yes, that is me a few years ago. It feels a bit awkward to add in my own picture, but you know what? There is nothing celebratory about feeling awkward, so I am doing it anyway… 🙂 )

Releasing Yourself From Bondage. Eight of Swords.

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There is no greater bondage than what we create for ourselves. We make choices that blind us, that bind us. We go through life not thinking, not looking. Then, all of a sudden, we are restricted and wonder how we ever got that way. Who put these blinders on? Who set up these dangerous swords around us?

Slowly, subtly. We allow ourselves to be bound without awareness. We don’t notice it, we are not present to it. That is understandable. As these restrictions creep up on us, they can be hidden, they can be so out in the open that it is almost too obvious.

Our arms are ties, our eyes are shut, we are so worried about any misstep that we don’t make the attempt to step forward at all. This can come from trying to ‘be’ a certain way, trying to please others, trying to be how we ‘should’ be. It is a long list. And the list becomes more important than our freedom. So we stay bound.

But how is that any way to live? How is that going to bring your own personal awesomeness to the world? How is it going to change the world? It’s not.

How do you rip off that blindfold? Well, that blindfold can be seen as a positive. What if you did not have to look at all those swords of ‘shoulds’? You could look in, you could connect with self. You can find your center. And from your center, from who you truly are, you can move forward in your own strength.

Hella lot better than trying to please everyone else.

Ticket to Ride the Chariot. Facebook Version

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Energy. It goes up and down. There is positive and negative. Each input of this energy takes us to a different place. Happy, sad. Angry, fighty, supportive, loving. This movement forward shows up like crazy on Facebook.

We read about amazing animal rescues. We read about amazing animal torture. Someone posts about something awful a cop did to a black man, someone posts about something heroic a stranger did for a cop. It can take our energy and swirl it into something that combines all the best in the world with all the worst.

Where does that leave you? I think it leaves you far from the control of your own destiny, your own viewpoint of the world. We absorb all this stuff. Crap, really. It inspires us to move forward, in a way, but not powerfully. It pulls us in different directions, as it all is important and it all needs to be addressed right now(!), which is kind of true, but kind of impossible at the same time.

When we look at the chariot, there is a black sphynx and a white sphynx. Almost as one is looking at the world and what needs to be done from the glass half empty, and the other is looking at it from the glass being half full. Both are valid. Both are pushing us forward, but each is going to resonate differently. Some will be inspired to change the world from seeing what is wrong that needs to be righted. Some will be inspired to change the world from seeing what is right and figuring out how to keep that growing.

And, yes, we get both on Facebook. And, really, it can get hard. I don’t think it is common to be able to ride both sides of the line. And that can be really disjointing and crazymaking on Facebook. But like all things, we have choice in the matter of what is going to propel us forward.

All you have to decide is which direction is yours.

And leave the rest.

 

 

Just Do. Don’t perfect.

 

Type. Just type.

Write. Just write.

Something will show up.

Something will open.

Even if it is just the courage to push through.

Keep going.

Erase the blocks.

Can’t erase them.

Maybe just override?

Sometimes there is no flow. Sometimes there is only stuckness. Can’t move forward. Can’t get anything done.

But is this really true? Is ‘can’t’ a fact here? Or maybe it is just allowing the imperfect to show up. What would happen if the ‘perfect’ did not run you? I bet you could move. I bet you could get things done. Don’t worry about the grade, just start to type the paper.

And keep typing.

Maybe nothing brilliant will happen. Maybe all you can get out of it is knowing that you did it. Maybe we should allow ourselves to appreciate and be content and be human with that knowledge.

At the very least, it will make for a better night of sleep.

And that’s a good thing…

Superstition

 

Black cat crossing your path.

Walking under a ladder.

Stepping on a crack, breaking your mama’s back.

There are so many superstitions in every culture. As a part of culture, they are quite  interesting to look at and and their history can be fascinating.

But once you internalize them. Once you give an object or event power over you, that’s where the danger lies. It’s giving up agency. It’s telling the world, and, more importantly, yourself, that you are powerless.

I used to avoid cracks as a kid. It was fun. Until it was stressful, as I just didn’t want to take the chance of actually hurting my mother, because, oh, I loved her so much. What if it really happened? I couldn’t take that chance As a child, it is easy to slip in to all forms of beliefs about yourself and the world. Especially with a child’s desperate need to feel safe. But, as adults, we need to investigate these beliefs, shine lights on them, make conscious decisions, become our own sources of power and knowledge.

Let’s take this to tarot. The cards have no power over you. Drawing The Devil card does not mean that awful things are going to happen to you. Drawing The Tower card does not mean that there is going to be an earthquake. replete with lightning and thunder, that tosses you and everything you love out the window.

If we went with superstition, that is what we would be lead to believe. Or, conversely, that if we draw The Ten of Cups, it means marriage, house and children are all waiting for us around the corner. I know, this is where superstition really draws us in. This safety, this happy ending. This luck of the draw and (at the same time)  this guarantee.

Yes, superstition can make us promises. But they are not real. And they are random. Life is random enough. To allow superstition to come in is taking any power we have in circumstances away from us.

But we actually are more powerful. We do have choice. We have the ability to decide for ourselves. This is so much more amazing than just being led by the nose.

The power is in the Wheel of Fortune card. Yes, life spins around us, tosses us challenges and gifts. But that is just what is. The power shows up when we consciously make the decisions on how to take it on.

And that has nothing to do with not opening an umbrella in the house…

End of the Day Sadness with a Touch of Anxiety? Tarot’s Thoughts

There can be a certain sadness at the end of the day. Its over. Like the end of a vacation, the last moments of a party. But it is a daily ending. We go through it over and over again. Little endings. It can leave us at a bit of a loss.

I did a quick little tarot reading about this, looking at both the sadness and the anxiety and the advice that follows. What I drew was:

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I drew the Two of Swords for the sadness. A woman with her arms folded protectively across her chest. As if she is protecting her heart. Maybe we fight to protect ourselves from this sadness? Maybe we are using energy to not admit that, hey, yes, one more down.

  • What would it be like to just open up and feel it? Have a little melancholy with your evening tea. Maybe it really won’t be so bad. It might honor the day. It might bring you closer to yourself by being honest. You might find that it is quite o.k.

I drew the Three of Pentacles for the anxiety part of the end of the day. This one is obvious. We work each day with goals and  desires. We don’t always reach them.  And when we don’t, we beat ourselves up over it. The end of the end of the day is the time we have to let go. We don’t have a choice in the matter, the day is gone, nothing we can do about it. But some part of ourselves wants to finish up the unfinishable. That can create anxiety.

  • What would it be like to just let that go?

The advice card I drew is the Queen of Swords. Mature. Wise. Faces the truth, but doesn’t get worked up over it.  She can see ‘what is’ and still not get all worked up over it.

  • So what would it be like to just be in the acceptance of it?

When you give it a try, you  find the beauty that is there. Being o.k. with however it shows up allows everything to fit into the right place.

Living in Your Future Goals

When you want to make a life change, it doesn’t just happen by magic. You need to invest your imagination into it. It becomes alive in your own mind before I comes alive in reality. Just start to imagine. Start to live in the ‘being’ of the future. If you have specific goals, start ‘doing’ them in your head. Imagine what that website is going to look like. Imagine what your new conversations with others are going to sound like. Imagine your outfits. Imagine how you will be wearing your hair, and what jewelry you will have on. Work the numbers of your future income in your mind; how much you will earn per hour, how many hours you will be working.

We create it as we go along. When you ‘live’ it in your imagination, you will find, all of a sudden, that you are living it in real life. It becomes solid in your creative being before it becomes solid on earth. You pull yourself into the future in that manner. It’s not a scary unknown, because you have tried it on already. The stress of change will diminish, because you have worked out imaginary situations already. They do become real in the ether before they become real in ‘real life’.

You can live your future now. Go try it on!

If this is where you want to sit, sipping tea every sunset, start imagining it and 'being there'.

Just Keep Moving in the Right Direction. Don’t Worry About Perfection.

I had a great insight the other day. I was so excited about writing a blog post about it. It was profound, it was insightful, it brought me to a new understanding of myself.

Then I  instantly forgot it.

I was upset because it was a really great learning experience for me. It really made me feel good about myself.

But things have a way of circling back. If you miss out on a lesson, a new awareness, don’t beat yourself up. Just keep moving forward.

For me, missing out on that lesson gave me this lesson. To just keep moving forward. Allow  your life to be imperfect. Allow yourself to skip a life learning “class” every once in awhile.

Often, when people take on self growth, they start to force it. They feel they need to be perfect. That growth and self awareness happens in a straight line. It doesn’t. Nothing in life follows a straight path.

Once you accept that, your process will flow so much more easily. You don’t need to worry about “doing it right”. Just “do it forward”. Don’t count how many times you stumble. It really doesn’t matter.

Use your stumbles to find humor, joy, self care, something gently positive. If you snap at someone at work, for example, just use that opportunity (as it is an opportunity) to reflect on what you need. Are you cranky? Tap into something funny. Are you tired? Gift yourself with a treat/bath/extra hour of sleep, etc. Do you just not like this person? Gift yourself with compassion (as it surely will get passed on).

It’s not all going to work out perfectly. So don’t worry about perfection. Focus on direction.

Love,

Vaike

 

Life and Happiness. What Are Your Top Ten Daily Stressors?

We all have what I call “invisible stressors” in our lives. Things that we have lived with for so very long, or that are so much a part of our everyday lives that we no longer know that they are there.

Because we are not aware of these stressors, we can’t do anything about them. They can make us physically and emotionally uncomfortable without us even knowing it.

Start to ask yourself what some of these may be. Start to shine a light on them A good way to do this is to make a list. Things that annoy you. Things that get in your way. Things that make you physically uncomfortable. I am not asking you to look for the large life stressors here, rather just little things that tweak at you.

Go ahead and make a list of 10 things that bother you every day. Mine are:

  1. Constant loud noise.
  2. Being too cold or too hot.
  3. Unresolved to-do list.
  4. Guilt from not spending enough time with my senior dog.
  5. A messy house. Clutter.
  6. Feeling physically dirty. Unwashed hair.
  7. Low grade back tension.
  8. Unpaid bills.
  9. Low blood sugar.
  10. Getting into a messy bed at night.

These kinds of little things can just eat away at your daily comfort and happiness. They are ‘low grade” so we just tend to ignore them and live with them. What did you come up with?  Start looking at you list and finding solutions. How can you just make a few of them go away? Start to think about how you would feel if you gave yourself the gift of solving some of these issues. How would you feel after? Would it be worth the 5/10/20 minutes a day that it would take to shower/pay bills/eat on time/make your bed?

Just getting a handle of a few of your issues will make a world of difference.

Try it and find out!

 

Sadness and Negative Emotions

Achieving your dreams and living a fulfilling life doesn’t equal perfection. Life is still here. It’s how we handle it that matters. When you are in a good place, centered and calm, you can allow the sadness, anger, grief, wash over you. To pretend it’s never going to exist once you reach your dream is unrealistic. It can put pressure on you, making you doubt yourself and your goals.

To acknowledge the imperfections, the moments of sadness, anger, etc. allows you to let these things pass through you. You have to remember that these emotions are not permanent. Letting them be, instead of fighting with them, is the key.

Allow sadness. Allow anger. It’s not you. It is just something passing through you. Look at it and understand that sometimes you and the negative emotion will stand in the same place.  But that emotion is not you. That emotion is not permanent. Let it be and it might hang around a bit, but then it will go. Don’t hold on. Don’t identify it as part of the permanent you.